Rethinking Resolutions

This year—2016—I set my new years resolutions differently. First of all I didn’t nail down what I wanted them to be until about March. After thinking about what lofty goal I wanted to reach for, for months, something someone said or I read caused me to reverse the way I was thinking on setting goals. I began to evaluate my areas of weakness and had a desire to strengthen those areas.

Previous years have been filled with numbers. Attend the gym 3 times a week. Study Scriptures daily. Pray Morning and night. Be kinder to others. And on, and on. I was left with a giant checklist which was overwhelming and proved unattainable. By March I had realized that I needed to focus more on just one word, one principle, instead of detailing out every single thing I should be doing.

Consistency

That was it. I had finally figured out what I wanted to work on, focus on, improve on, make progress on during this year—Consistency. And interestingly enough, once I had realized the principle that I wanted to work on, doing all those things that had been on my list for years, now became easier because I had motivation. Once I realized this method of goal setting I quickly realized there was one other goal I needed to work on as well.

Fear has unfortunately been a motivator in my life. And, instead of giving into my fears I knew I wanted to begin fighting my fears by embracing change, challenges, and even blessings that are available to me. I needed to stop dragging my heels when I knew what I needed to do. I needed to EMBRACE it.

Embrace

Change, Challenges, & Progress

Like Ted Talks on Steroids, can I say that?

I have enjoyed Ted Talks and have many friends that absolutely love TedTalks, and if you love Ted Talks, you need to check out this conference!! I have already watched the first session and it is absolutely inspiring!  There is nothing better that the feeling you feel when you hear these servants of the Lord speak.  I feel the strength to go on, to be better, and to do more.  And I feel God loves me.

How to Protect Your Children Against Pornography

I've discussed how we need to place picket fences around our homes.  But what about when the adversary gets past the fence?

I just had a friend reach out to me about a friend that contacted her (if you can follow that twice removed relationship).  My friend remembered a video that I sent out about how to talk to our children about pornography but couldn't find it to share with her friend.  I resent the video to her to share and realized even more people than I realize are dealing with this issue.  It breaks my heart that children and families are being attacked with this destructive thing.  I wanted to offer this mother more resources to help her family.   I have found this resource for families that have been effected by pornography.  The website Overcoming Pornography gives a lot of information and help for individuals and families. Please if you know someone that is struggling with pornography, there is help.

Of Grace and Faith

"The more we rely on the Savior’s grace, the more we will feel that we are on the track our Father in Heaven has intended for us."  Dieter F. Uchtdorf

As I was studying this morning this quote struck me.  It succinctly expresses a principle that has been in my heart and mind for a while lately.

Life is a summation of choices.  There have been times when I know my choices were guided by God and I was in the right place at the right time.  And then there are times when I haven't had God with me and I was just trying to do it all on my own.  But most difficult for me has been two moments when I felt the influence of the Lord to do a certain thing and I wanted to, but I hesitated. I didn't choose not to follow it, I just hesitated, out of fear, what if it works out, what if it doesn't and I hesitated.  And then the opportunity was gone, someone else acted immediately and it was gone.  It is one of my regrets in life.  And the hardest thing is that it doesn't just effect me, but it effects my children's lives too. The weight of this choice, is causing me to really self evaluate what I can do so that I don't do this again.  That next time I receive guidance I will act on it.

When I read this truth this morning it pointed the direction that I need to learn to take in my choices.  When I make my choices I seek guidance from the Lord, but I need to "rely on the Savior's grace".   I need to consciously have faith and put my fears aside and rely on the Savior's ability to make things work out.  I need to start with the small choices, intentionally practicing, to develop the faith to be able to rely on the Savior's grace for the big decisions.   And then I will be back on the track Heavenly Father has intended for me and my family.                

The complete address is "Of Regrets and Resolutions" by Dieter F. Uchtdorf.

Mistakes

Today I read this quote by Howard W Hunter which said, “If our lives and our faith are centered upon Jesus Christ and his restored gospel, nothing can ever go permanently wrong.”

I needed this hope so badly. We each make mistakes in life, but I love that there is hope for correction through the Savior, Jesus Christ's atonement.  So I will repent of the past. Let it go. And center my life on my Savior and be comforted that "nothing can ever go permanently wrong" if I seek Him.

The Spiritual Effects of Depression

I've always struggled with anxiety and then after the birth of my first child I plummeted into the deep dark hole of Postpartum Depression.  Finally around 6 months a friend of mine encouraged me to talk to a doctor and I was able to get on some medication and start the slow climb back toward the light. It took me to between 9 months to 1 year postpartum before I finally felt normal again.

I just read an article titled Depression by Rebecca J. Clayton that hit home for me regarding everything I went through. She expressed her experience:

"I prayed constantly for heaven’s help to relieve the heaviness in my heart. When the sorrow remained, it seemed as if the Lord had abandoned me and for some reason I didn’t qualify for His love. This further fed my belief that I was unworthy of my blessings. Reading the scriptures also fueled my anxieties because each time I came across a verse that described what I felt, the passage had something to do with sin. I could not figure out what great transgression I had committed to deserve such torment, but the scriptural association of despair with iniquity seemed proof of my fallen state."

I remember searching for answers, guidance, and help spiritually but I couldn't think straight and I couldn't tell inspiration from my irrational thoughts.  It was awful. My mind would race so fast that by the time someone had finished asking me a question I couldn't remember what they had just said to be able to formulate an answer.  My mind was already 20 miles down the road from where their question had started my mind. It would take me all day to pack a diaper bag for the evening because I couldn't think through everything I would need.   I felt like a 2 dimensional person trying to live in a 3 dimensional world.  It took me years before I could talk about my postpartum experience.

Rebecca Clayton points out:

"It is essential to understand that such a spiritual crisis is not a result of spiritual weakness or lack of faith. Rather, depressive feelings and the resulting depressed view of one’s spirituality are usually caused by a chemical imbalance. Because our physical bodies and our spirits are necessarily connected (see Doctrine & Covenants 88:15), it can be common to feel the effects of a physical disorder in a spiritual way, especially in the case of depression, which alters our very perception of ourselves. Therefore, it is important to seek out the actual source of such feelings, especially when experiencing the often-distorting effects of depression." 

I've realized for me that I need to keep a balance in my life of adequate sleep, physical exercise, good nutrition, and spiritual nourishment.  I really enjoyed Ms. Clayton's discussion on Depression and feel like more needs to be said.  Now I can talk about postpartum depression and I hope that by doing so it can help some other new mom somewhere that is struggling to find peace.

 To read the rest of the article go to Depression by Rebecca J. Clayton.