The theme in our stake this year is to Invite. Four times this year we should Invite a family over for dinner or dessert in our homes. It should be casual and comfortable and friendly. All of stake conference was about this subject until the very end, when in his closing remarks, the stake president said one sentence "For some of us, things in our homes are not as they should be." He mentioned that this needs to be corrected before we invite people into our homes. That sentence had been nagging me for a couple of weeks until I finally was lead in what I should do. I have known for awhile that there has been too much arguing in our home. That I get too frustrated and feel out of control. My responses to the kids are snappy and I further recognize it when I hear my kids repeating the things I have said and the tone of voice I have used, which made me even more frustrated. I had tried to be better. Recognizing that I need to be going to bed earlier and exercising more so that I have the rest and the outlet I needed to be more calm. I had tried to also be better at reading my scriptures daily and saying prayers. Those were all good things but I still felt like I was loosing the battle daily.
The thought came to me one day as I was thinking about how I could change things, that "These things go not out but by fasting and prayer." Then I had to prepare and deliver a lesson in Relief Society in Spanish. I didn't have a topic at first, but after talking to my husband it became clear that I needed to speak on fasting. He mentioned that our stake president had mentioned that the people in our stake were not utilizing fasting as often and as completely as they should be. I knew that I also needed to fast for patience with my children.
Now I know that we are not supposed to advertise that we are fasting but we should do it privately unto the Lord. But as I have talked with my neighbors, friends, family and other moms I meet at the park I know that I'm not the only one that has been feeling frazzled, tired, well exhausted, impatient, and totally overwhelmed with raising children. So if my experience helps someone else, I'm good with that.
So the day I taught Relief Society, I fasted. I didn't just go without food for 2 meals, but I prayed hard and frequently and I also realized that I also needed to repent of my behavior towards my children. That Sunday, for the first time in a long time I was able to not react to my children's crying and whining, but just remain calm and listen and then move on. It was such a blessing and I felt such strength from the Lord. I felt strength and peace. I also recognized that I couldn't/shouldn't just fast once and it's fixed, but that I needed to change completely. I needed a change of heart as is spoken about in the scriptures. I knew that that change only comes by the atonement and I needed to continue in fasting and praying. I continued praying and studying my scriptures that week and then the next Sunday I fasted again for patience with my children. During Sacrament meeting the high council speaker (which are my favorite by the way--they speak in English spoke about his experience going backpacking and packing way too many things in his pack, causing him to not be able to keep up with the rest of the leaders and scouts. He fell behind and then one little boy who had reached camp first put down his pack and hiked back to help him. The High Councilman said that the little boy offered to carry his pack for him and finish the hike with him. The High Councilman saw the symbolism: we may not go out and make great sins, but may fail to repent of all the little ones that we commit each day thus causing our "spiritual backpacks" to become laden with many heavy burdens that pull us away from the Spirit of the Lord. He likened the innocent little boy to our Savior who offers repentance to us to take those burdens or sins from us and walk with us to the end.
As I heard this talk from out in the hall bouncing my 1 year old to sleep on my shoulder. I was thankful that I was able to hear this message. I have been feeling weighted down for so long, not realizing that repentance was the key I was missing. I had not been repenting and I was in great need of it. I felt like I had been putting small rocks and pebbles in my backpack for years and trying to keep going, trying to keep up and failing.
I also heard the quote somewhere that with my kids I should "Shower them with positives." I started trying to do this and their behavior improved. This talk below was also very pertinent to my life right now.
There are two stories in the Book of Mormon which are very similar and teach an important lesson. The first is from the book of Mosiah, starting with the 19th chapter. Here we learn of King Limhi living in the land of Nephi. The Lamanites had waged war against the people of Limhi. The result of the war was that the Lamanites would allow King Limhi to rule over his own people, but they would be in bondage to them. It was a very uneasy peace. (See Mosiah 19–20.)
When Limhi’s people had their fill of Lamanite abuses, they convinced their king to go against the Lamanites in battle. Three times Limhi’s people were defeated. Heavy burdens were laid upon them. Finally they humbled themselves and cried mightily unto the Lord that He would deliver them. (See Mosiah 21:1–14.) Verse 15 of chapter 21 tells us of the Lord’s response: “And now the Lord was slow to hear their cry because of their iniquities; nevertheless the Lord did hear their cries, and began to soften the hearts of the Lamanites that they began to ease their burdens; yet the Lord did not see fit to deliver them out of bondage.”
Soon after, Ammon and a small band of men from Zarahemla arrived, and with Gideon—one of the leaders of Limhi’s people—they worked out a plan which was successful, and they escaped from the Lamanite abuses. The Lord was slow to hear their cries. Why? Because of their iniquities.
The second story is similar in many respects but also different. The account is recorded in Mosiah 24.
Alma and his people had settled in the land of Helam, when an army of the Lamanites came into the borders of the land. They met and worked out a peaceful solution. (See Mosiah 23:25–29.) Soon the leaders of the Lamanites began to impose their will on the people of Alma and placed heavy burdens on them to bear (see Mosiah 24:8). In verse 13 we read, “And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage.”
The people of Alma were delivered from the hands of the Lamanites and safely made their way back to be united with the people of Zarahemla.
What was the difference between the people of Alma and the people of King Limhi? Obviously, there were several differences: the people of Alma were peaceful and more righteous; they had already been baptized and entered into a covenant with the Lord; they humbled themselves before the Lord even before their tribulations started. All these differences made it appropriate and fair that the Lord would deliver them quickly in a miraculous way from the hand which kept them in bondage. These scriptures teach us of the Lord’s power of deliverance.
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