Celestial Thursdays

Thursdays at the temple have always been the most celestial time in the temple. For 4 years, before Gracie was born, I worked in the temple on Thursday nights (the True shift). I loved working at the temple and not just because I met and got to know Luis on those Thursday nights. My world was a little crazy, especially my work, and Thursday night gave me a few quite hours of peace to clear all the stress and madness out of my head. It allowed me the time each week to regain an eternal perspective of my mortal experiences. I really miss it.

Recently, after becoming so overwhelmed with everything in life and with my children's latest developmental stages I remembered that it had been months since I had been to the temple. We would try to get a sitter for ward temple night a couple of times, but it never panned out, and since Luis was in the branch Presidency we would send him and I'd stay home with the kids. But then I didn't make the effort on another day to still get myself there. I think that the state I was in was also compounded by my minimal efforts at my personal scripture study and the fact that I haven't understood what's being said in church in over a year. (Except High Council speakers who are always in English--bless them) I realized that I haven't been getting that extra spiritual boost that comes from listening to others experiences and testimonies about the principles of the gospel.

Resolved. I finally committed within myself that regardless of what ever else is going on, one Thurs night each month I would be going to the temple. I sent Luis an email, telling him to mark on his calendar that he was busy on that day from now on, starting in two days. I needed the temple and so I went and it felt great to be back there. And then last week I went again as I was starting to feel depleted again. I walked in and noticed that the baptistry was full of youth and leaders and was inspired by them, and then I looked over and saw a brother that I had met back in 2001 when I started working in the temple. I caught his attention and he slipped out to say hello. I hadn't seen him in years and was so happy to see him again and catch up. He informed me that he had been released as bishop and was now serving in his stake presidency. Seeing him confirmed to me that I was in the right place at the right time--in the temple. It brought back to me how much more of a consistent happiness was with me when I was in working in the temple.

I changed into my white clothes and proceeded to go upstairs, and ran into a sister that was and still is working the True Thursday night shift. This sister had caught my attention the first time I saw her, because she just beamed and radiated happiness that was so contagious. She hugged me and pointed out to another sister there that I was happy and beaming. I realized I was--I was so happy I was beaming. It felt so wonderful and I remembered this is who I really am. Not the cranky, tired, stressed out mom that I had allowed myself to fall into. In the temple we not only see others how Heavenly Father sees them, but we see ourselves that way too. Realizing now what I have been missing, the desire and hunger to have that feeling back in a constant way has begun to grow.

I continued upstairs and again saw another sister that I had worked with there at the temple before. The Lord always has a way of teaching us in 3's. There was just something so divine about those friendships that were made in the temple. I truly believe it is the same society that exists in heaven. And by being able to taste that 'good fruit' again I was filled and happy again. And the desire to return to the temple feels real. I can't wait til I can go again and want to prepare my heart and mind even more to be fed and taught by the Lord.

I am so thankful that I was able to remember that feeling of happiness--not even happiness, but just pure, pure joy--that I knew before and can know again. It is coming back, and I hunger for it. I need it, I need to show it to my children and teach them how they can obtain that fruit too.