Parenting Lessons

So I have been in need of a parenting manual for a while now, and I tried one self help book that a friend gave me but it was insufficient for my needs. So lately as I have been reading the scriptures and other articles I have been more keenly aware of the parenting advice that the Lord has given to us in the scriptures.

Much of this may seem obvious to you, but for me it took my particular current situation to have the "Ah hah" understanding of these scriptures in this way. I'll start with the most recent passage that I have read. Doctrine and Covenants 121:41-46.  Of course the obvious context of this passage is regarding the priesthood, however it is extremely applicable to parenting too.  I have inserted parenting into the verses to apply to me: "No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of 'parenting', only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;

By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile."  So there is my first list of things that I need to work on.  This pregnancy has been easy and harder at the same time.  Easier-because I haven't had almost any morning sickness, harder- because I have been short tempered and cranky.  I'm also hoping that the latter is really a symptom of pregnancy.  I find myself in greater need of Heavenly strength and patience than ever.  And I guess that's why what I read in Moroni 8 was so poignant, specifically verses 8-26.  These verses on the surface speak specifically to the doctrine of infant baptism.  However, at a deeper level, it completely applies to me as a parent and my expectations of my children.  How I need to focus more on acknowledging my mistakes and seeking forgiveness from my Savior and others for my misdeeds.  Verse 8: "...wherefore, little children are whole, for they are not capable of committing sin; wherefore the curse of Adam is taken from them in me (Jesus), that it hath no power over them..."  I think often I am too hard on my children, or that my expectations aren't necessarily appropriate.  I need to be more understanding that they will constantly make mistakes, but that they are not serious, just a matter of learning.  Whereas, my mistakes are serious as I have the knowledge and experience to know better. Mormon continues in verse 10: "...yea, teach parents that they must repent and be baptized, and humble themselves as their little children, and they shall all be saved with their little children."  It is I who must repent, and I have already been baptized, but each week I need to renew those baptismal covenants by partaking of the sacrament.  And somehow I need to make more of an effort toward renewing that covenant.  As I attend church in Spanish right now because of my husband's calling, but don't speak Spanish, I have almost forgotten the covenants that I am renewing.  I partake of the sacrament, but my mind is far from it because I am not hearing the words of the prayers.

Mormon answers my "how?" question that accompanies my "to become list" from D & C 121 in Moroni 8:26.  As I repent and renew/keep my baptismal covenants "the remission of sins bringeth meekness, and lowliness of heart; and because of meekness and lowliness of heart cometh the visitation of the Holy Ghost, which Comforter filleth with hope and perfect love, which love endureth by diligence unto prayer, until the end shall come, when all the saints shall dwell with God."

Moroni 7:5-26

Christ has said that if we ask for good things with faith that the Lord will bless you, behold it shall be done unto you. So then our responsibility lies in searching out if it be a good thing and having faith. In order to know if it is a good thing vs 5-15 are clear as to how to discern good from evil. And 15 states that it is given to us to judge ie we have our agency to know good from evil. And we are told that the "way to judge is plain" because we look to the source, that which is of God is good, that which is of Satan is evil. But we are also told that we "may know with a perfect knowledge" if it is of God. And the way to know is in vs 19 "search diligently in the light of Christ...and if ye will lay hold upon every good thing...ye certainly will be a child of Christ." So search the scriptures, the prophets, patriarchal blessings, and the temple-all things that are of the light of Christ. And "lay hold" of them or take them unto yourself. I guess this is all just part of the process of becoming like Jesus.

Cry unto him over the flocks of your fields....

I am so thankful to know that my Heavenly Father does hear and answer my prayers. We have had a lot of extra expenses on our rental properties recently but we were able to work it all out. Then this morning my tenant called to tell me that her furnace wasn't working. We just had the unit serviced 4 months ago and it is only 7 years old so it should have been fine. But she called to say that it wasn't even turning on. I told her I would check into it and call her back. I fell to my knees and pleaded with the Lord to know what to do because the company absolutely doesn't have enough reserves to replace a furnace right now. I pleaded for His help and then got up and went to call the heating company that last serviced it hoping that maybe their work would be guaranteed and they would go out and inspect it for free. I picked up my phone and my tenant was calling me back. She told me that she didn't know why, but the furnace just switched on and began working again. I knelt back down and thanked my Heavenly Father for hearing my prayer and answering my prayer. Our prayers are not always answered so quickly and directly and I know that and didn't expect such a direct and clear answer, but I needed it. I needed that witness once again that He is there for me as my faith had been waning. I know that my Heavenly Father does continue to perform miracles on the earth today and that he has blessed me and my husband with a miracle today. He is a merciful and loving Father who knows what we need if we turn to him.
It says in the scriptures, in Alma 34: 20,24-25 that we should pray over our flocks, crops, and our fields. My little rental property is our little flock/field and the Lord has blessed us this day.

Celestial Thursdays

Thursdays at the temple have always been the most celestial time in the temple. For 4 years, before Gracie was born, I worked in the temple on Thursday nights (the True shift). I loved working at the temple and not just because I met and got to know Luis on those Thursday nights. My world was a little crazy, especially my work, and Thursday night gave me a few quite hours of peace to clear all the stress and madness out of my head. It allowed me the time each week to regain an eternal perspective of my mortal experiences. I really miss it.

Recently, after becoming so overwhelmed with everything in life and with my children's latest developmental stages I remembered that it had been months since I had been to the temple. We would try to get a sitter for ward temple night a couple of times, but it never panned out, and since Luis was in the branch Presidency we would send him and I'd stay home with the kids. But then I didn't make the effort on another day to still get myself there. I think that the state I was in was also compounded by my minimal efforts at my personal scripture study and the fact that I haven't understood what's being said in church in over a year. (Except High Council speakers who are always in English--bless them) I realized that I haven't been getting that extra spiritual boost that comes from listening to others experiences and testimonies about the principles of the gospel.

Resolved. I finally committed within myself that regardless of what ever else is going on, one Thurs night each month I would be going to the temple. I sent Luis an email, telling him to mark on his calendar that he was busy on that day from now on, starting in two days. I needed the temple and so I went and it felt great to be back there. And then last week I went again as I was starting to feel depleted again. I walked in and noticed that the baptistry was full of youth and leaders and was inspired by them, and then I looked over and saw a brother that I had met back in 2001 when I started working in the temple. I caught his attention and he slipped out to say hello. I hadn't seen him in years and was so happy to see him again and catch up. He informed me that he had been released as bishop and was now serving in his stake presidency. Seeing him confirmed to me that I was in the right place at the right time--in the temple. It brought back to me how much more of a consistent happiness was with me when I was in working in the temple.

I changed into my white clothes and proceeded to go upstairs, and ran into a sister that was and still is working the True Thursday night shift. This sister had caught my attention the first time I saw her, because she just beamed and radiated happiness that was so contagious. She hugged me and pointed out to another sister there that I was happy and beaming. I realized I was--I was so happy I was beaming. It felt so wonderful and I remembered this is who I really am. Not the cranky, tired, stressed out mom that I had allowed myself to fall into. In the temple we not only see others how Heavenly Father sees them, but we see ourselves that way too. Realizing now what I have been missing, the desire and hunger to have that feeling back in a constant way has begun to grow.

I continued upstairs and again saw another sister that I had worked with there at the temple before. The Lord always has a way of teaching us in 3's. There was just something so divine about those friendships that were made in the temple. I truly believe it is the same society that exists in heaven. And by being able to taste that 'good fruit' again I was filled and happy again. And the desire to return to the temple feels real. I can't wait til I can go again and want to prepare my heart and mind even more to be fed and taught by the Lord.

I am so thankful that I was able to remember that feeling of happiness--not even happiness, but just pure, pure joy--that I knew before and can know again. It is coming back, and I hunger for it. I need it, I need to show it to my children and teach them how they can obtain that fruit too.

Saturday Morning

So I have had a decision to make. I enjoy gardening, especially fruits and veggies. It's Saturday and I had registered a couple of weeks ago for a free class on composting this morning. I've been wanting to learn more about composting and get a composter started for my backyard for a year or two. Luis is going to watch the girls while I go. However, yesterday I started having the feeling that I should go to the temple instead. It's a choice. A small decision, but every decision changes the direction we are headed. I could go to the temple another day, so why am I feeling that I should go right during the class. I don't know. Choices.