Recently I have trying to focus on letting go of my will and doing what God wants me to do. However, I have recognized that I can't just sit back and wait for Heavenly Father to drop answers in my lap. I need to be anxiously engaged in good things that will allow Him opportunities to use to bless me.
The first thing that I have been doing is getting up before my family in the morning and reading my scriptures or talks by the Apostles. It is amazing how quiet the morning is and it allows for meditation and pondering on the things that I have read and problems that I am seeking answers to. I just finished reading the book Unbroken by Laura Hillenbran (actually I listed to it--Yeah for audio books from the library!!!). I was amazed at how many life lessons I learned in this book. One of which, that our minds have a great capacity that is often under-utilized and barrage of information. I learned that I need to provide myself quiet time (Early morning after I am rested is best for me.) to allow all the constant thoughts in my head to quiet down and begin examining my questions with a clear mind that is open to receive answers from God.
Unbroken made me consider for the first time, that maybe, just maybe I had the brain capacity to do more and think more than I currently see myself. I know I'm not dumb, I did graduate from college, but I am blond and wasn't born with street smarts like some people are, and I have a horrible memory. I am realizing that I have limited myself by placing an imaginary "glass ceiling" on what I thought I was capable of doing with my mind. I realized in reading this book that I had allowed my mind to be filled with too many distractions. I have renewed my effort to read and study in the early quiet hours, but also provide myself time to ponder and think on the things I have been reading. I have stopped watching tv for the most part, try to be effective when I'm on the internet, and have been trying to fill my mind with good books in addition to scriptures. Now I think I might be able to do things that I never thought I would be able to do. It's exciting to open yourself up to new potentials. I can't wait to see where this mind is going to go.
Including my Savior in this mental makeover has also been a concentrated effort. I have sought the power of the Atonement in prayer to help me grow. In my morning study, I came across this quote by Todd Christofferson.
It is God’s will that we be free men and women enabled to rise to our full potential both temporally and spiritually, that we be free from the humiliating limitations of poverty and the bondage of sin, that we enjoy self-respect and independence, that we be prepared in all things to join Him in His celestial kingdom.
I am under no illusion that this can be achieved by our own efforts alone without His very substantial and constant help. “We know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do.”24 And we do not need to achieve some minimum level of capacity or goodness before God will help—divine aid can be ours every hour of every day, no matter where we are in the path of obedience. But I know that beyond desiring His help, we must exert ourselves, repent, and choose God for Him to be able to act in our lives consistent with justice and moral agency. My plea is simply to take responsibility and go to work so that there is something for God to help us with.
I bear witness that God the Father lives, that His Son, Jesus Christ, is our Redeemer, and that the Holy Spirit is present with us. Their desire to help us is undoubted, and Their capacity to do so is infinite. Let us “awake, and arise from the dust, … that the covenants of the Eternal Father which he hath made unto [us] may be fulfilled.”25 In the name of Jesus Christ, amen. (For full text click here)I hope that I will be able to grow in ways I've never before imagined and I'm grateful for the possibilities that are available through the Atonement. I hope that I will be able to pass on to my children and others that God sees more in us than we see in ourselves.
